Ep #191: Summer Reset: Learning to Rest Without Guilt

There are seasons in life when I can feel myself craving rest, yet slowing down feels uncomfortable. In this episode, I share why I chose to step completely off the grid for a wellness retreat and what surfaced in me as I prepared to disconnect. What surprised me most wasn't just the logistics or anxiety—it was recognizing how much I had tied my worth to constantly doing and being available.

I talk about the difference between collapse and intentional rest, why nervous system regulation matters, and why stillness is not a luxury reserved for a few people. I've learned that rest isn't something I earn after I've done enough. It's something I need if I want to live with clarity, joy, and presence.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why stepping away can reveal what truly needs attention

• The difference between intentional rest and burnout

• How chronic busyness affects emotional regulation and joy

• Why rest is a biological requirement, not a reward

• Simple ways to create moments of stillness in everyday life

If you've been waiting for permission to slow down, I hope this episode encourages you to give yourself that gift and reconnect with what matters most. Reach out at hello@mikkigardner.com and let me know how it goes.

If you'd like to schedule a Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/coachwithmikki/clarity_call

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

What if the reason your life suddenly feels so misaligned in midlife isn't because something is going wrong, but because something inside of you is finally waking up? Well, welcome to Led From Within. I'm Mikki Gardner, and this is a podcast for women who are done outsourcing their authority and are ready to claim a life aligned with who they are today. Because midlife doesn't need to be a crisis. It can be a return to yourself, to clarity, to courage, and to inner authority.

So let's begin.

Welcome back to the podcast.

This is gonna be a short episode. It's summer right now for me and for you, if you're listening live. And this week, I am doing something that used to feel impossible for me. And what is it? I'm going completely off grid. I'm heading to a wellness retreat tomorrow morning, and there will be no phone, no computer, no smartwatch, no tech of any kind.

And what's been so interesting about this is everything that's been happening sort of the days leading up to when I leave. What I've noticed is there is a lot to do to prepare for me to be off grid. Tidying up, like, all of those loose ends, notifying everybody, making the arrangements, making everything sure that there's good, putting food in the fridge, getting the schedule out, like, all of the things, the mental load has been intense, uh, for me to be able to disappear for a few days. And there's also been a little bit of guilt and a lot of anxiety about, you know, what's going to happen, are they going to need me, are they going to miss me, can things run without me? Right? But also just sort of naming, am I going to be okay?

Right?

I'm so busy doing everything for everyone, but then what's going to happen to me when I'm actually there with, uh, nothing, Right? And so it's like this pattern that I think I certainly see that we've built these lives where our absence feels like it would be a problem, right? Like that it can't happen, that the world cannot exist and can't keep turning without us doing some part of that. And I think this is something to question, and that's why I'm going and I'm stepping away. Because the fact is, is that stepping away requires a lot of preparation. But it's also because of all that preparation, it's actually why it's necessary.

I have been, uh, craving, craving rest and time away and sort of going off grid. And so I gave it to myself for my 50th birthday. And this is the week that I'm going. And I've noticed that as it approaches, I am getting more and more feelings about it because, you know, rest and reset and relaxation culturally is looked at as either laziness, right? People who just can't do anymore, or only for a few that are, uh, sort of allowed the opportunity. We're taught that we have to earn our worth through our caretaking, through our output, through what we do.

And I think in midlife, what I'm noticing is that our nervous system has been running, at least my nervous system has been running on that adrenaline for decades. And rest is something that I crave, but it also feels really unsafe because we're not used to it. And too many of us don't allow our bodies to rest even at night, right? We're watching Netflix, we're drinking, we're overeating. Whatever it is we're working, we're doing for everybody else. And we're not allowing our bodies to just take a rest and reset.

And so what happens? We collapse, right? We hit a brick wall, we break down. And there's a difference between rest and collapse. But the problem is, is that most of us only rest when we're forced to. And I know for me, in the past that's been the case. And so now true rest is intentional, it's chosen, it's proactive.

And that's what I'm doing this week is I'm giving myself that, right? Because when we are chronically lacking rest and exhausted and overwhelmed, what we're doing is we're costing ourselves the ability to make good decisions, to be emotionally regulated, to feel good inside of our bodies and have good health. We limit our ability to feel joy and creativity. And so rest is really, it's not a reward that we give ourselves, it's a practice that we have to learn.

And so for me, I've really been craving this totally off the grid, away from everything experience so that I can get to know myself. And I'm scared. I'm frankly scared as you know what, to go away and do this. And I also know it's exactly what I need. And for me, this week has really been that reminder that rest isn't something that I earn, that I'm only allowed when I've done enough. But it's actually a non negotiable that has to be put in there, you know, and the more that I prioritized, sleep and water and movement and meditation, all of these things have added up to be able to allow Me, the opportunity to go off grid, to be with myself in a different way.

You know, for me, the more that I have done nervous system work and really focusing on shifting and changing the way that I prioritize my life, my needs, my body, my spiritual life, my social life, all of the things, the more that I've done that, the more that I understand that silence and stillness are not an indulgence that only a few people get. They are, uh, a biological requirement for us to be able to live those abundant lives that we want.

And for me, I'm really choosing to take this time out in silence and stillness so that I can come back with more clarity, with more presence, a fuller version of myself. Because when I'm a fuller version of me, I get to give that to the people that I am around, that I love, that I work with, with my friends and my family. And so I really see it as a way to give more of myself when I am really rested, when I am, um, really locked in and loaded with myself.

And so I just wanted to kind of pop in here and tell you that sort of, this is where I'm going. And, uh, the thing is, you don't need a wellness retreat to practice this, right? And that's what I've started to understand is it can be an hour, it can be a morning, it can be a Sunday, with no agenda. But the question really, we have to stop asking, can I afford to rest? Right? Can I afford to slow down? Is it possible? The question is, can I afford not to? And that's where we really have to look at it.

Because as women, we're modeling for the people around us what rest can look like, what it means. And so I hope that you start to choose rest without apology, because, again, you don't have to earn it, but it is something that you give to yourself so that you have more to give. And I'm grateful for this opportunity, for me to go away and to unplug and to notice all of the stuff that's been bubbling up in me trying to prepare for this time away.

And it's all information, it's all data when we talk about that on this podcast, that our emotions and our feelings are not here to burden us. They're here to send us a message. And so I've been really noticing, and I don't have to understand what it is, because I know that through this experience, I'll gain more clarity. So by the time you're hearing this, I'm probably gonna be there, right? Somewhere quiet, offline Hopefully I'm fully present.

And I really want the same for you this week, even in a small way, because I want you to know that you can choose rest and a reset at any time. We don't need a glamorous wellness retreat in order to have rest in our life. We don't need a permission slip to slow down. We just need to choose it for ourselves.

And so I want you to ask yourself, where in my life have I been waiting for permission to stop, and what would it feel like if I gave myself that permission right now? I, um, want you to really answer that. Is it five minutes? Is it ten minutes? Is it a walk outside without your phone? Is it a night reading instead of watching tv? Is it a night sitting and having dinner with your family without any phones or TV or anything on? Is it eating dinner by yourself without any of those things? You get to choose?

But I just wonder what would change for you if you stopped waiting for permission and you gave yourself the gift of presence. 5, 10, 15 minutes, 60 minutes, an hour a day. No phone, no computer, no tv, no agenda. Just some rest and reset. I'll see you again soon.

Thanks so much for listening to today's episode. I hope that it spoke to you and you found something useful to take away from it. If you did, I would be so grateful if you would take 2 seconds to subscribe to the show, which will help you because you won't miss another episode. And it would help me because you would never miss another episode. And if you are in the giving spirit and would take 30 seconds to rate and review this episode, it would do wonders for the show and for me.

Thanks so much for being here and I can't wait to talk to you again next week.