Ep #174: What Five Years of Meditation Have Taught Me About the Power of Stillness

Welcome to Co-Parenting with Confidence, a podcast for those courageous moms out there who want to move past the conflict and frustration of divorce and show up as the mom they truly want to be. My name's Mikki Gardner. I'm a certified life and conscious parenting coach with my own personal dose of co-parenting experience. Throughout my co-parenting journey, I have learned to become confident in who I am as a woman and a mother, and I'm here to help you do the same. If you're ready to learn what it takes to become a great co-parent and an amazing example to your children, get ready and let's dive into today's episode.

Hi, and welcome back to the podcast. This podcast is a little bit of a celebration. I am going to celebrate myself and a big thank you goes out to November 10th, 2020, Mikki on this one. And why do I say that? Well, here's the thing. What I realized is this past weekend marked five years of meditating every single day without missing a day — without fail. And that includes vacations, being sick, being in the hospital, surgeries, a number of things. But the one thing that never changed is that I meditated every day.

Now it's funny because I never thought that I'd be sitting here talking about five years of meditation. It started out in November of 2020 when I think we can all agree was such a bizarre year with the pandemic, with everything in the U.S., the elections — there was so much going on and I was feeling so out of sorts.

I had tried meditating on and off for years before that, ever since things really happened in my marriage. I was struggling with anxiety and had tried meditation, but like many people I talked to, I thought I wasn’t any good at it and really resisted it. But in November, I just said, “I have to change something.” What I was doing wasn’t working. I felt so out of control and anxious, so I decided to give it a try. I told myself, “I can do anything for 10 days.” And I did. Then I went to 30 days. Then 60. And before I knew it, it was six months… and now five years.

I want to bring it up because we often underestimate how small changes can add up to big shifts. Meditation has taught me that. It’s not hard, but it is hard to get ourselves to do it. That’s where the practice comes in.

Let me start with a disclaimer — a lot of people turn off when they hear “meditation.” I had a client recently say, “You’re not going to make me meditate, are you? I’m so bad at it.” I told her, “First, I’m not going to make you do anything. But tell me why you think you’re bad at it.” She said, “My thoughts are always racing. I can never quiet my mind.”

Here’s the thing: the only time you’ll be without thoughts is when you’re dead. Meditation isn’t about stopping thoughts — it’s about learning to observe them without attaching to them. Imagine sitting on the side of a highway. The cars passing by are your thoughts. Sometimes it’s slow traffic, sometimes it’s the autobahn. Meditation is learning to sit on the side of that highway and watch the thoughts go by without jumping into a car and driving off with it.

When we realize that meditation isn’t about emptying our minds but simply focusing on one thing — like our breath — it becomes a practice of stillness and awareness. And when we can witness our thoughts without attaching to them, we gain power, because we see that we are separate from them. You are not your thoughts. You are the soul who witnesses them.

Over the years, I’ve learned some powerful lessons from meditation. One of the biggest is the strength of being still. I love to be busy — sometimes to avoid discomfort. Many of us do. Stillness can feel unbearable because it means being alone with our thoughts and feelings. But stillness is not passive. It’s powerful. It allows us to meet life with presence and choice.

When we can pause before reacting, we step into our agency — our ability to choose how we respond. That pause, even a one-second buffer, changes everything in relationships and parenting. It’s the difference between reacting and consciously choosing.

Meditation also helps heal the nervous system. When we ground ourselves in the present moment, we’re retraining our body to experience safety, calm, and steadiness. We can’t wait until we’re in crisis to find calm. It’s something we build through practice so we’re resourced when stress hits.

We don’t meditate to get better at meditating. We meditate to get better at life — to become more patient, compassionate, and steady. Meditation has helped me navigate hard moments with more grace and strength. It’s where I commune with the divine — a quiet space to listen, to receive guidance, and to remember what’s true.

Another gift has been self-trust. Showing up every day, even when I didn’t feel like it, built integrity. I trust myself more deeply because I’ve proven to myself that I follow through. Every morning, without fail, I meditate before anything else — not because it’s a rule, but because it reminds me that I matter. That I’m the priority. From that place, I can show up as a better mom, partner, friend, and human.

What we practice, we strengthen. Meditation has strengthened my ability to be grounded, aware, and compassionate. Through consistent stillness, I’ve become more adaptable and resilient — that’s what a healed nervous system looks like. Regulation isn’t about being calm all the time; it’s about flexibility and choice.

If you’ve never meditated, start small. One minute of intentional stillness counts. Just pause and breathe. Place your hand on your heart and be present with yourself. You can’t be bad at meditation. If you notice a thought and come back to your breath, you’ve done it successfully. Over time, it gets easier and richer.

Meditation isn’t about changing who you are — it’s about remembering who you’ve always been, beneath the noise. I hope this episode inspires you to explore what stillness might teach you today.

Thank you for listening. You can always reach out through the link in the show notes. Sending love and blessings — and I’ll see you on the next episode.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical advice. Please consult your physician or another qualified professional for personalized care.